Deism?

To you who may read this, in your experience, what helps you recognize and put rational faith in God's active intervention in your life? How do you have sense of God's working in and around you? How do you know what prayers God "answers" and what to do with those "answers"?

I feel like God is pretty passive, or at least that's how I tend to interpret the events of my life. It is ridiculously difficult for me to see/recognize/believe that God is engaged and active with me. In my experience, sometimes I feel like I am a deist. I believe God exists, but I have precious little to go on that says He is alive and active in my life today... I believe He IS, but that belief hangs on a thread most of the time and is so hard to put words to...

If God IS truly working in and around me, I want to recognize it more. I want my senses and mind to be trained to distinguish what is His activity versus just life happening. Or is God active in everything? Is this email divinely directed? Are the words I'm choosing to type pre-planned and part of God's plan to bring about good? I've been really wrestling lately with my own personal experience with God. The head knowledge is strong and logical, but the spiritual experiences are flimsy and sporadic, stained with doubts and questions. And my inability to find solid experience to stand on, tends to erode at the things that I think I believe to be true. Then everything starts to get weird and existential and exhausting.

Any thoughts?

Or is all of this just a weird emotional by-product of being too busy and not spending time with God?