"God is most glorified when he is affecting us and not just known by us."
I found the quote above from this post and it resonated with a lot of what I've been thinking and feeling lately.
How do you feel towards God? Not just what do you think, but what emotions arise in you when I mention the person of God? Is it fear or guilt? Is it hatred and resentment, from loss or suffering that a loving God should have averted? Is it warm and fuzzy feelings of love and contentment?
I know we should not base our decisions solely on emotions. Emotions are shaky ground for decision-making. However, I think we underestimate the importance and significance of our emotions and more specifically, how we feel towards God.
It isn't simply about having a warm, fuzzy feelings towards the idea of God, but actually having a relationship with God that includes our emotions, not simply our minds. I'm reminded of Jesus' response to one of the religious leaders of the time, and the question of which commandment is the greatest. Jesus said, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind". Love God. Not just obey God. Or fear God. Or trust God. Or worship God. Love God. In a human sense, we have a plethora of ideas, misconceptions and beliefs about what love is. Everything from romantic comedies to our affection for our pets, from our love/hate relationships with our siblings to the the old couple in the Notebook that made us cry, Love is hard to pin down in a word or a phrase. But, despite its ambiguity, we all know what love is and when it's missing. It touches something in us deeper than a mere feeling. It's something in our spirit/soul (the intangible part of us). And the most important thing for us as humans, in relation to God, from Jesus Himself, is to love Him. Obedience, fear, trust, worship, etc. all play an important part of that. But do we love God?
This past weekend, I visited a dear friend of mine in Florida. She's known me since my days at Cedarville University... and that's quickly becoming something of the long distant past! The weather was forecasting thunderstorms the entire weekend. My understanding of prayer in general still involves a lot of confusion and should warrant a post all its own, but it's suffice to say, I prayed that it wouldn't rain while I was down in Florida, just like Elijah prayed it wouldn't rain for 3 years. I was only asking for 4 days! I had an hour layover in Orlando, where I watched out the window as it rained cats and dogs and probably several other species of domestic animals. But I had prayed and wasn't going to lose hope yet. I got into Ft. Myers and the sun was out and it didn't rain the entire weekend but more than 10 minutes while we were driving! I flew out of Ft. Myers back to Orlando where my flight was delayed because of the torrential downpours and thunderstorms. The entire weekend and its blue skies and sun felt like God was saying "I love you, Michael" the entire time. I totally understand how faith and presuppositions could make one person say that it was just coincidence and another the hand of God. That whole argument aside, my heart felt a deep gratitude and joy towards God all weekend. It wasn't simply that God did what I wanted... It was more than that for me, though it's hard to express in words. I felt the attentive, kindness of God towards me and the things I'm learning about Him. It confirmed for me that God is a loving Father and cares about the things we care about. It's as if it's important to Him that we really know Him and how He feels about us. God didn't need to hold back the rain this weekend. And He would have been no less kind and good and loving. But in His unfathomable wisdom, He gave us sunshine in that corner of Florida for the whole weekend, parting the thunderstorms like a page out of the Exodus story. I am deeply humbled and thankful at such condescension from such a holy God towards His children...
That experience stirs me. It made God that much more personal. It seems like He's been doing that a lot more these days, as if He's trying to get through to me and draw me into something deeper than simply religion or rules. Do we love God? Can we see His hand in the things around us? Do we know His love for us deep in our spirit, more than simply believing the idea that God is loving? What emotions does God stir in us? David and the other writers of the Psalms spoke of a whole gamut of emotions, from ecstacy to despair. God ellicited a deep emotion within them, because He was real to them. I think the lack of genuine emotion in my life towards God thus far has simply been because I have grown up with the theory of God. "God so loved the world" was just a popular verse that you quoted when you were trying to get other people to believe what you believe. Lately though, I'm crashing into the reality that God personally loves us as individuals. He knows us deeply and likes who He made us to be. He sees potential in us and desperately wants for us to hold His hand and let Him refine us. His heart breaks for us when we don't understand the pain we're in and can barely get through the day. Like a loving Parent, He is guiding us, knowing just when to give and when to hold back, so that we can mature and learn to be strong and choose what is right and best and loving. And He is the most fiercely loyal Friend that we'll ever have. That kind of love brings tears to my eyes. That kind of a God affects me. And that kind of love makes me want give absolutely everything I am to Him, in trust and worship and adoration and service... and suffering if need be.
I think it's crucial that we know God, in all His holiness, grandeur, righteousness, beauty, justice, mercy and love, etc. but that knowledge needs a response. And the response He requires and desires from us?
To love Him back.
In light of who He is and all He's done, to love HIM.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
A Daily Reading Excerpt
We Really Are the Sons and Daughters of God05/17/2009Life on the road takes us into our heart, for only when we are present in the deep sentences can God speak to them. That’s why the Story is a journey; it has to be lived, it cannot simply be talked about. When we face trials, our most common reaction is to ask God, “Why won’t you relieve us?” And when he doesn’t, we resignedly ask, “What do you want me to do?” Now we have a new question: “Where is the Romance headed?”
There is another great “revealing” in our life on the road. We run our race, we travel our journey, in the words of Hebrews, before “a great cloud of witnesses” (12:1). When we face a decision to fall back or press on, the whole universe holds its breath— angels, demons, our friends and foes, and the Trinity itself— watching with bated breath to see what we will do. We are still in the drama of Act III and the heart of God is still on trial. The question that lingers from the fall of Satan and the fall of man remains: Will anyone trust the great heart of the Father, or will we shrink back in faithless fear?
As we grow into the love of God and the freedom of our own hearts, we grow in our ability to cast our vote on behalf of God. Our acts of love and sacrifice, the little decisions to leave our false loves behind, and the great struggles of our heart reveal to the world our true identity: We really are the sons and daughters of God.
(The Sacred Romance , 154–55)
I am encouraged and challenged at the thought, "When we face a decision to fall back or press on, the whole universe holds its breath— angels, demons, our friends and foes, and the Trinity itself— watching with bated breath to see what we will do." Really gives our lives some context, doesn't it? We aren't just stumbling through life, making meaningless choices and causing insignificant consequences. It feels that way most of the time, I'll admit. But that's only because I don't have the eyes to see what's really going on.
Let's live well today. The whole host of heaven is cheering us on and we really are the dearly loved children of God...
Sunday, May 17, 2009
My Sheep Hear My Voice...
In Walking With God, Eldridge cites several examples in the Bible where God speaks clearly to people. Then, he says,
I have wrestled for a long time with the whole concept of how God communicates with humanity these days. I've had so much doubt, so many questions. I've heard so many people say things like, "God led us to..." or "God spoke to me this morning...". I couldn't figure out why God didn't speak to me that way. Did God not speak that way and people were really fooling themselves, or worse, being deceived by demons or something? Did God simply not speak to ME that way? Was it something I was doing wrong? Was I not worth speaking to? I think the church I grew up in helped perpetuate those ideas, even if it wasn't intentional. They didn't illustrate or explain how or if God speaks to us, except through the Bible. And if the Bible is the only source of communication from God, that leaves so much unsaid. What if, upon your birth, your parents wrote you a long, detailed letter about your family history and genealogy, explained what it meant to be part of a family, gave examples of the depth of their love for their children and closed the letter with the promise that you would meet them again? I have no doubt that as you grew and learned to read that you would treasure that letter. But how much more valuable would it be if they didn't leave you or forsake you? What if they stayed in your life and told you how much they loved YOU, not just their children in general? What if they expressed their joy in the unique man or woman you were becoming and walked with you through the ups and downs of life, giving you the personal attention that you desperately needed to navigate life and become all that you were meant to be? How can we have such a small view of God's personal love for us? Something in me cries desperately for that to be true. Having the Bible is great, but it feels so inadequate. It isn't personal. It is a book of stories and principles and promises. You can't have a relationship with a book. You can only have a relationship with a Person. And unless that person is unable to communicate for some reason, your relationship with that person will include two-way conversation.
So where does that leave us? Am I crazy if to believe God would speak to us if we actually believed He would? And am I willing to seem crazy to embrace that possibility and reality?
That passage I quoted above really hits me, because it just makes so much logical sense to me. It doesn't make sense to me that God would speak to people, even audibly, throughout the course of history and scripture, and then for that to stop for some unknown reason. So, I feel like I am beginning a season of new life, of new faith, that God does still speak. It probably isn't audibly, though it could be, but I believe it would be no less personal. As Christians, we believe that the Holy Spirit of God dwells in our hearts now. God has taken up residence in our hearts. Wouldn't it make sense for Him to speak to us there, deep in the center of our being? To say things that are deeply true and necessary for us to know, both about Him and about ourselves, things that are too personal and unique for the scope of scripture?
I feel like I need to break out of the framework that I've grown up with and all the preconceived ideas of how God works. Not at all that most of it is wrong or false, but I feel as though certain things have been taken for granted and I'm finding that they don't answer the deep questions of my heart. I've been taught that God is a certain way and that He does things a particular way. What if some of those things weren't quite right? What if God does speak to us? What if He is waiting to speak to us and is waiting for us to believe He can and will? What if my desire for deep personal communication with this God who loves me exists because it points to the truth of what we were created for?
I don't want to assume things that aren't true. At the same time, I don't want to simply settle for the way Christianity has been presented to me when the deep questions in my heart aren't being answered by the answers I've been given so far.
Honestly, I don't know what to expect. There have only been like 3 times in my life that I have experienced thoughts that I really think were God speaking to me... but I didn't have the clarity or confidence to distinguish if it was God or wishful thinking on my part. Something is stirring in my beliefs though, that God wants to speak to us personally. I think it is something that we have to learn to hear, because so much of our lives are so busy and distracted and noisy.
I'll keep you "posted" on what I hear! (pun intended...)
"Now, if God doesn't also speak to us, why would he have given us all these stories of him speaking to others? 'Look—here are hundreds of inspiring and hopeful stories about how God spoke to his people in this and that situation. Isn't it amazing? But you can't have that. He doesn't speak like that anymore.' That makes no sense at all. Why would God give us a book of exceptions? This is how I used to relate to people, but I don't do that anymore. What good would a book of exceptions do you? That's like giving you the owner's manual for a Dodge even though you drive a Mitsubishi."
I have wrestled for a long time with the whole concept of how God communicates with humanity these days. I've had so much doubt, so many questions. I've heard so many people say things like, "God led us to..." or "God spoke to me this morning...". I couldn't figure out why God didn't speak to me that way. Did God not speak that way and people were really fooling themselves, or worse, being deceived by demons or something? Did God simply not speak to ME that way? Was it something I was doing wrong? Was I not worth speaking to? I think the church I grew up in helped perpetuate those ideas, even if it wasn't intentional. They didn't illustrate or explain how or if God speaks to us, except through the Bible. And if the Bible is the only source of communication from God, that leaves so much unsaid. What if, upon your birth, your parents wrote you a long, detailed letter about your family history and genealogy, explained what it meant to be part of a family, gave examples of the depth of their love for their children and closed the letter with the promise that you would meet them again? I have no doubt that as you grew and learned to read that you would treasure that letter. But how much more valuable would it be if they didn't leave you or forsake you? What if they stayed in your life and told you how much they loved YOU, not just their children in general? What if they expressed their joy in the unique man or woman you were becoming and walked with you through the ups and downs of life, giving you the personal attention that you desperately needed to navigate life and become all that you were meant to be? How can we have such a small view of God's personal love for us? Something in me cries desperately for that to be true. Having the Bible is great, but it feels so inadequate. It isn't personal. It is a book of stories and principles and promises. You can't have a relationship with a book. You can only have a relationship with a Person. And unless that person is unable to communicate for some reason, your relationship with that person will include two-way conversation.
So where does that leave us? Am I crazy if to believe God would speak to us if we actually believed He would? And am I willing to seem crazy to embrace that possibility and reality?
That passage I quoted above really hits me, because it just makes so much logical sense to me. It doesn't make sense to me that God would speak to people, even audibly, throughout the course of history and scripture, and then for that to stop for some unknown reason. So, I feel like I am beginning a season of new life, of new faith, that God does still speak. It probably isn't audibly, though it could be, but I believe it would be no less personal. As Christians, we believe that the Holy Spirit of God dwells in our hearts now. God has taken up residence in our hearts. Wouldn't it make sense for Him to speak to us there, deep in the center of our being? To say things that are deeply true and necessary for us to know, both about Him and about ourselves, things that are too personal and unique for the scope of scripture?
I feel like I need to break out of the framework that I've grown up with and all the preconceived ideas of how God works. Not at all that most of it is wrong or false, but I feel as though certain things have been taken for granted and I'm finding that they don't answer the deep questions of my heart. I've been taught that God is a certain way and that He does things a particular way. What if some of those things weren't quite right? What if God does speak to us? What if He is waiting to speak to us and is waiting for us to believe He can and will? What if my desire for deep personal communication with this God who loves me exists because it points to the truth of what we were created for?
I don't want to assume things that aren't true. At the same time, I don't want to simply settle for the way Christianity has been presented to me when the deep questions in my heart aren't being answered by the answers I've been given so far.
Honestly, I don't know what to expect. There have only been like 3 times in my life that I have experienced thoughts that I really think were God speaking to me... but I didn't have the clarity or confidence to distinguish if it was God or wishful thinking on my part. Something is stirring in my beliefs though, that God wants to speak to us personally. I think it is something that we have to learn to hear, because so much of our lives are so busy and distracted and noisy.
I'll keep you "posted" on what I hear! (pun intended...)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The Cross vs The Resurrection: Which is more important?!
Ha!
It seems downright silly to even ask it like that, though, as I sort through my questions about the role of Jesus' resurrection in our lives, that's how the discussion feels.
As Easter approached, I was looking for songs to play in church on Easter Sunday morning and was surprised at the lack of songs pertaining to Jesus' Resurrection. There are tons about the Cross, but significantly less about the Resurrection. Why is that? Is this a recent development, a by-product of our western version of Christianity? Is that a healthy balance? Is there nothing for me to be concerned about, i.e. are this observation and subsequent questioning a waste of time?
I don't think so.
I guess what motivates this question for me is the curiosity about the role of the Resurrection in our lives, in terms of "victorious Christian living" as some might say. The way the church in general has portrayed the Cross for me can be summed up like this:
"You are a sinner with a deceitfully wicked heart, dead in your sin and an enemy of God. But! God loves you, so He sacrificed His Son Jesus on the Cross. By doing that, His wrath towards sin and His love for us meet in perfect union on this great symbol of the lengths that God will go to rescue us. Now, you are a sinner saved by grace."
And so we hang our head, feel bad for making Jesus have to die in our place and do our best to sin less (to feel less guilty and somehow to reciprocate back to God what He gave to us). And for almost all of my Christian life, the Resurrection has been an after-thought to the gospel. Like, "Oh, P.S. In addition to the gospel, Jesus DID come back to life, FYI. That sort of proves He is God or something... Not completely sure, but I figure it's important to throw that in there, too. But anyway, back to the Cross and how much Jesus suffered for you..."
I almost feel as though we have a slightly unhealthy focus on the Cross. I say, "we", but realistically, I can only honestly speak for myself—though I've noticed similar practice and belief among other Christians I've interacted with over the years. When I focus on the Cross, I see the suffering and sacrifice of Jesus. It makes me feel bad for my sin "that held Him there". Realistically, it creates some motivation out of guilt or shame, for causing that suffering. Not necessarily a bad reaction, though it is inadequate and misleading for finding and living the abundant life that Jesus offers us. It creates a mentality that my relationship with God is defined by His mercy and my sin. I am the sinner and He is the merciful King. And, on that statement alone, I can't disagree! But I think it is inadequate. And I think the inadequacy comes as a failure on our part, the Churches part and my part to understand the amazing role of the Resurrection of Jesus. Unfortunately, I am only beginning to scratch the surface in this area, so I won't be able to wax eloquent about the spiritual wonders that will emerge once we focus on the Resurrection. I do see, though, that there is LIFE in the Resurrection. The Cross brought the necessary death. And the Resurrection, then, brings the necessary life. And I think, from my own experience, the reason why most Christians aren't that joyful or hope-filled is because we have under-appreciated the Resurrection. I'm not talking about denying or diminishing the power of the blood and cross of Jesus Christ at all. It is completely necessary and volumes of spiritual literature have been written expounding all that God has done for us through the cross. But I've started reading through the book of Acts and I'm finding that the early church preached about the Resurrection! There was something life-giving about that reality. And so I want to take the time to give the Resurrection its proper place in my theology and life. I have the sneaking suspicion that Jesus has given us a lot of spiritual blessing and freedom and life and authority for living victoriously within the Resurrection.
Honestly, it feels weird to question this. Questioning the Cross in general makes it feel like I'm in danger of heresy or beginning a cult. So that's why I want to understand Scripture and the early church. Someone spoke awhile back and made the comment that the early church writings didn't even mention the cross at all for 400 years after Jesus' death. The cross was just a normal, commonplace death for criminals. I'm not sure of the source of this, so I can't hang my hat on it—though it does make me quite curious if it's true. Again, I have no desire to diminish the role of the Cross in the gospel message, but I wonder if the gospel would feel more like good news to people if the Resurrection actually is crucial to understanding the new life we have in Christ. So that's my current quest, I suppose.
Also, let me throw it out there that I am aware that my understanding of the Cross could also need to be challenged and expanded. I can't argue with that. But I've been in the "christian bubble" since I was 10 years old and I don't think there's a lot of new perspectives on the Cross that I'm missing. So, by God's Spirit at work in me, I hope to understand the Cross in a more true way, but I'm also going to intentionally pursue understanding the Resurrection, because, after almost 20 years in Christendom, I can't really tell you much about how it impacts our lives, except for being a proof that Jesus was God. There are some vague other thoughts, too, but nothing that I've really studied and meditated on enough to where it has become something I deeply believe.
I mean, Jesus said, "I am the resurrection and the life"... He never said, "I am the cross and the death"... you know? =)
Resurrection: 1
Cross: 0
I kid, I kid. Don't stone me!
It seems downright silly to even ask it like that, though, as I sort through my questions about the role of Jesus' resurrection in our lives, that's how the discussion feels.
As Easter approached, I was looking for songs to play in church on Easter Sunday morning and was surprised at the lack of songs pertaining to Jesus' Resurrection. There are tons about the Cross, but significantly less about the Resurrection. Why is that? Is this a recent development, a by-product of our western version of Christianity? Is that a healthy balance? Is there nothing for me to be concerned about, i.e. are this observation and subsequent questioning a waste of time?
I don't think so.
I guess what motivates this question for me is the curiosity about the role of the Resurrection in our lives, in terms of "victorious Christian living" as some might say. The way the church in general has portrayed the Cross for me can be summed up like this:
"You are a sinner with a deceitfully wicked heart, dead in your sin and an enemy of God. But! God loves you, so He sacrificed His Son Jesus on the Cross. By doing that, His wrath towards sin and His love for us meet in perfect union on this great symbol of the lengths that God will go to rescue us. Now, you are a sinner saved by grace."
And so we hang our head, feel bad for making Jesus have to die in our place and do our best to sin less (to feel less guilty and somehow to reciprocate back to God what He gave to us). And for almost all of my Christian life, the Resurrection has been an after-thought to the gospel. Like, "Oh, P.S. In addition to the gospel, Jesus DID come back to life, FYI. That sort of proves He is God or something... Not completely sure, but I figure it's important to throw that in there, too. But anyway, back to the Cross and how much Jesus suffered for you..."
I almost feel as though we have a slightly unhealthy focus on the Cross. I say, "we", but realistically, I can only honestly speak for myself—though I've noticed similar practice and belief among other Christians I've interacted with over the years. When I focus on the Cross, I see the suffering and sacrifice of Jesus. It makes me feel bad for my sin "that held Him there". Realistically, it creates some motivation out of guilt or shame, for causing that suffering. Not necessarily a bad reaction, though it is inadequate and misleading for finding and living the abundant life that Jesus offers us. It creates a mentality that my relationship with God is defined by His mercy and my sin. I am the sinner and He is the merciful King. And, on that statement alone, I can't disagree! But I think it is inadequate. And I think the inadequacy comes as a failure on our part, the Churches part and my part to understand the amazing role of the Resurrection of Jesus. Unfortunately, I am only beginning to scratch the surface in this area, so I won't be able to wax eloquent about the spiritual wonders that will emerge once we focus on the Resurrection. I do see, though, that there is LIFE in the Resurrection. The Cross brought the necessary death. And the Resurrection, then, brings the necessary life. And I think, from my own experience, the reason why most Christians aren't that joyful or hope-filled is because we have under-appreciated the Resurrection. I'm not talking about denying or diminishing the power of the blood and cross of Jesus Christ at all. It is completely necessary and volumes of spiritual literature have been written expounding all that God has done for us through the cross. But I've started reading through the book of Acts and I'm finding that the early church preached about the Resurrection! There was something life-giving about that reality. And so I want to take the time to give the Resurrection its proper place in my theology and life. I have the sneaking suspicion that Jesus has given us a lot of spiritual blessing and freedom and life and authority for living victoriously within the Resurrection.
Honestly, it feels weird to question this. Questioning the Cross in general makes it feel like I'm in danger of heresy or beginning a cult. So that's why I want to understand Scripture and the early church. Someone spoke awhile back and made the comment that the early church writings didn't even mention the cross at all for 400 years after Jesus' death. The cross was just a normal, commonplace death for criminals. I'm not sure of the source of this, so I can't hang my hat on it—though it does make me quite curious if it's true. Again, I have no desire to diminish the role of the Cross in the gospel message, but I wonder if the gospel would feel more like good news to people if the Resurrection actually is crucial to understanding the new life we have in Christ. So that's my current quest, I suppose.
Also, let me throw it out there that I am aware that my understanding of the Cross could also need to be challenged and expanded. I can't argue with that. But I've been in the "christian bubble" since I was 10 years old and I don't think there's a lot of new perspectives on the Cross that I'm missing. So, by God's Spirit at work in me, I hope to understand the Cross in a more true way, but I'm also going to intentionally pursue understanding the Resurrection, because, after almost 20 years in Christendom, I can't really tell you much about how it impacts our lives, except for being a proof that Jesus was God. There are some vague other thoughts, too, but nothing that I've really studied and meditated on enough to where it has become something I deeply believe.
I mean, Jesus said, "I am the resurrection and the life"... He never said, "I am the cross and the death"... you know? =)
Resurrection: 1
Cross: 0
I kid, I kid. Don't stone me!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Friendship and Betrayal
"But there's a whole lot more to friendship than simply not committing a betrayal, wouldn't you say?" - John Eldridge, Walking With God
This hit me like a ton of bricks and in an instant, clarified and articulated what has been lacking in my Christianity for so long. Hang with me here, I know that seems like a weird jump.
I feel as though we as Christians have bought into such a narrow view of what it means to follow Jesus or to know God. We think Christianity is primarily about sinning less. We change our behaviors, attempt to break our addictions, maybe change the circles we run in. We've reduced our relationship with God to simply avoiding sin. Avoiding sin is a good thing, but it's only a start. It's only a small piece of the puzzle. And it is horribly inadequate. That's where Eldridge's quote leaps off the page for me. There is more to a friendship with God than simply not betraying Him. I don't mentally check out on my friends once I confirm they aren't stabbing me in the back... No, the fact they aren't stabbing me in the back means there is an open connection for life and conversation and laughter and comfort, etc. Those things are what make a friendship a friendship. Not simply the absence of betrayal...
So. We've gotten really good at managing our sin. We keep it under wrap most of the time, though sometimes those "besetting sins" keep getting the best of us. But, so what. Just avoiding sin is a terribly shallow spiritual experience. Call me naive, call me idealist. I want more. I want to have a friendship with God that transcends my behaviors. I want to know the close companionship of the Presence of Jesus in the day-to-day experiences of life. I want to have a relationship with God that is tangible and life-giving, and near impossible to explain to those who don't have it. Not so it seems I've "arrived spiritually" or anything, but simply so that it is so deeply real to me that it becomes hard to reduce it to words or principles or behaviors.
And the cool thing is, I think God wants this with us, too. I think that's what Jesus and others talk about in the Bible about knowing God and being one with Him. It isn't simply about not sinning, though that is necessary to keep the lines of communication open, in a sense. I believe God wants us to be close to Him and for us to walk through our day with His Presence continually in our hearts and minds.
This hit me like a ton of bricks and in an instant, clarified and articulated what has been lacking in my Christianity for so long. Hang with me here, I know that seems like a weird jump.
I feel as though we as Christians have bought into such a narrow view of what it means to follow Jesus or to know God. We think Christianity is primarily about sinning less. We change our behaviors, attempt to break our addictions, maybe change the circles we run in. We've reduced our relationship with God to simply avoiding sin. Avoiding sin is a good thing, but it's only a start. It's only a small piece of the puzzle. And it is horribly inadequate. That's where Eldridge's quote leaps off the page for me. There is more to a friendship with God than simply not betraying Him. I don't mentally check out on my friends once I confirm they aren't stabbing me in the back... No, the fact they aren't stabbing me in the back means there is an open connection for life and conversation and laughter and comfort, etc. Those things are what make a friendship a friendship. Not simply the absence of betrayal...
So. We've gotten really good at managing our sin. We keep it under wrap most of the time, though sometimes those "besetting sins" keep getting the best of us. But, so what. Just avoiding sin is a terribly shallow spiritual experience. Call me naive, call me idealist. I want more. I want to have a friendship with God that transcends my behaviors. I want to know the close companionship of the Presence of Jesus in the day-to-day experiences of life. I want to have a relationship with God that is tangible and life-giving, and near impossible to explain to those who don't have it. Not so it seems I've "arrived spiritually" or anything, but simply so that it is so deeply real to me that it becomes hard to reduce it to words or principles or behaviors.
And the cool thing is, I think God wants this with us, too. I think that's what Jesus and others talk about in the Bible about knowing God and being one with Him. It isn't simply about not sinning, though that is necessary to keep the lines of communication open, in a sense. I believe God wants us to be close to Him and for us to walk through our day with His Presence continually in our hearts and minds.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Some Shifting
This is hard to explain and I want to search it out more, but I feel as though something deep in my soul is shifting. I am moving away from mere propositional truths to spiritual intimacy. I'm NOT suggesting that experiential knowledge is somehow more valuable than objective reality, so let me explain what I'm trying to communicate... Most of my life has been a series of statements of belief that I have been encouraged to assent to. Concepts of God's holiness, Jesus' divinity, sin and salvation, etc. They have laid the foundation for what I am realizing is the true heart of Christianity—love. Being re-united to the God of the universe, through the person of Jesus Christ, and finding all of my longings met in Him. Everything I was created for is found in Him. He does not desire me to simply agree to some facts or theories or faith presuppositions or a biblical worldview. He wants me to know Him, intimately. He wants me to be one with Him, as He is one with the Father... So many places in scripture talk about knowing God...
Matthew 7:23... Jesus speaking, "Many will say to [Jesus] on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then [Jesus] will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"
John 8:19... Jesus speaking again, "You do not know me or my Father," Jesus replied. "If you knew me, you would know my Father also."
Philippians 3:8... Paul said, "I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord"
John 17:3... "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."
Now, absolutely, there is more to Christianity than that phrase, "knowing God" or whatever. There is faith and obedience and worship and service and trust and love and adoration and sacrifice, etc. But I feel like I am understanding that, at the core of what Christianity—following Jesus Christ—is, the whole process of salvation and the whole theme of history and the whole work of God's redemptive plan in the world is to draw us back to Himself and restore our ability to find complete, full and utter satisfaction in the love and mercy and holiness and creativity and strength and wisdom of the God of the universe. He is a Person. He is longing for us to know Him, love Him, adore Him, trust Him and walk with Him. It isn't about rules or principles. He is not a math theory or a school principal or vending machine in the sky. God is the all-sufficient perfect sustaining Being that holds all of existence together and loves us deeply and yearns to be all that we need and want. The path to that spiritual intimacy with Him is only found through time with Him, meditating on His word, cultivating a grateful heart and eyes that see Him in the everyday details of life, in the eyes of the people around us, in the poor and lonely, in the creative and beautiful... I don't want to simply memorize rules to live by. I want to quiet myself down at the soul level and learn to experience the presence of Jesus Christ and be changed by knowing Him and being with Him. I want to pick up His mannerisms and learn what His heart beats for. I want to be changed inwardly and I want to love the people around me deeply and selflessly because of the life, peace, freedom and strength I find through God's Spirit working in me. I want to learn to enjoy being in His presence, because of who He is, not just what He does for me.
So that's kind where I feel like my heart is shifting. It is still vague and hard to describe. I have certainly not arrived (merely beginning it feels!), but I feel like my heart is being pulled down to deeper waters.
Matthew 7:23... Jesus speaking, "Many will say to [Jesus] on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then [Jesus] will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'"
John 8:19... Jesus speaking again, "You do not know me or my Father," Jesus replied. "If you knew me, you would know my Father also."
Philippians 3:8... Paul said, "I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord"
John 17:3... "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."
Now, absolutely, there is more to Christianity than that phrase, "knowing God" or whatever. There is faith and obedience and worship and service and trust and love and adoration and sacrifice, etc. But I feel like I am understanding that, at the core of what Christianity—following Jesus Christ—is, the whole process of salvation and the whole theme of history and the whole work of God's redemptive plan in the world is to draw us back to Himself and restore our ability to find complete, full and utter satisfaction in the love and mercy and holiness and creativity and strength and wisdom of the God of the universe. He is a Person. He is longing for us to know Him, love Him, adore Him, trust Him and walk with Him. It isn't about rules or principles. He is not a math theory or a school principal or vending machine in the sky. God is the all-sufficient perfect sustaining Being that holds all of existence together and loves us deeply and yearns to be all that we need and want. The path to that spiritual intimacy with Him is only found through time with Him, meditating on His word, cultivating a grateful heart and eyes that see Him in the everyday details of life, in the eyes of the people around us, in the poor and lonely, in the creative and beautiful... I don't want to simply memorize rules to live by. I want to quiet myself down at the soul level and learn to experience the presence of Jesus Christ and be changed by knowing Him and being with Him. I want to pick up His mannerisms and learn what His heart beats for. I want to be changed inwardly and I want to love the people around me deeply and selflessly because of the life, peace, freedom and strength I find through God's Spirit working in me. I want to learn to enjoy being in His presence, because of who He is, not just what He does for me.
So that's kind where I feel like my heart is shifting. It is still vague and hard to describe. I have certainly not arrived (merely beginning it feels!), but I feel like my heart is being pulled down to deeper waters.
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