The Power of Words

I think it's safe to say we all understand, through experience, the power words can have. If we are honest, though, we would all have to admit that we are more careless with our words than we realize. Most of us have experienced the devastating effect of words spoken without thought or with malicious intent. We bear the scars under the surface and can think back to something seemingly innocuous to an outsider, but carries deep pain for us. Careless or evil words can devastate with consequences that last years beyond their speaking.

The opposite, thankfully, is also true.

I've done some things in my life that I have deep regrets about. The way we treat people, the things we've done, the words we've said can heap such a burden of guilt and shame, chaining us to a view of ourselves that is powerful, hopeless and untrue. Even if we can mentally agree that those things might not be true, we can still feel the weight of them. And I don't think I'm alone in this. An awesome post I read recently gave a good example of how we label and categorize ourselves, often very unhealthily (is that a word?). I know for myself, I have identified myself by past mistakes and regrets, rather than by the person I am today. Who I am has been over-shadowed by things I've done. This creates such an insecurity and feeling of inadequacy that is damn near unshakable.

Enter the power of kind, honest words.

I had a conversation this weekend with a good friend I used to live with. He's an awesome dad of two really cool daughters. As we were talking about these things, he said something to the effect of:

"Michael, I'd rather have my girls marry a guy who has done the things you've done, and has the character and heart that you have, than have them marry a guy who hasn't done the things you've done, but lacks the character and heart that you have."

He is a close friend that I trust and respect, who is a little further along the journey than I am. He's a good example of a lot of things to me. And he was just being honest with me as we were discussing things. I don't think he had any idea the power of what he said and its ability to heal and transform. A man I trust and respect told me that I am a good man, and that despite some of the mistakes I've made, he would hope for his daughters to marry someone like me.

I felt the chains falling off as we kept talking and driving home.

Choose your words wisely. And look for opportunities to speak true, good things to the people around you. Affirm who they are. Tell them about the good things that you see in them. We all make mistakes and fail and mess up—we don't need people around us to heap more shame on us for what we already know didn't measure up. You, whoever you are, have a great influence on the people around you, whether you realize it or not. You don't know how much someone might respect you, or for how long they have lived their lives without an honest, kind word spoken about them. Be on the lookout. We need each other. I am starting to believe more and more that there really is a devil, an evil being that is intent on stealing our joy, destroying our families and friendships and marriages, killing our desires. I know that's not a politically correct or intellectually applauded concept, but there is more evil in this world than what we fallen humans are committing... And, in some way, when we speak evil of each other, with impatience, frustration or apathy, we are giving the devil ammunition to use, to scar and imprison each other. Let's stop using our words so carelessly and start watching for ways to speak life and healing and confidence into each other's lives. I have deeply experienced the power and freedom that words said in love can bring. I'm floored by how one sentence can begin to undo and unravel years of self-contempt and resignation. And when we speak those truths to each other, we are speaking the words of Jesus to each other. We become the hands and feet and mouth of God to personally communicate to each other the things God sees in us.

I hope God communicates with you today of how special you are to Him. It might be in a conversation or in the words of a book or some other way. And as you feel and know God wants to rescue you and restore you, because of His great love for you and His desire for you to be all that you've been created to be, you seek to communicate to the people around you that they have that same worth and value.