Interesting Article on Relationships

Here's the link to the article "How to find 'The One'" on Relevant Magazine...

And the part I thought was interesting:

If you are not in a relationship ...

We feel it’s crucial to realize that no matter whom you marry, you will most likely have the same personal issues you did before marriage. It can feel like marriage is the answer to making everything in your life right, but in our experience, marriage tends to amplify problems, not solve them.

Instead of believing in this romantic fallacy, take stock of where you are personally. Consider your emotions, past, family, talents, dreams, hobbies, struggles, spirituality, sexuality and employment. Striving to make these areas healthy will not necessarily lead to finding a husband/wife. However, exerting yourself toward wholeness brings confidence, peace and contentment. These traits are very attractive and if you do find a relationship, they will go a long way in making that relationship thrive. [emphasis mine]

I thought they struck a healthy, logical balance between the "just focus on yourself" mentality versus the "gotta-find-my-soulmate!" outlook. The goal being wholeness. The article did a good job of succinctly pointing out that wholeness doesn't equal "in a relationship", which I think is a typical mindset, that if you can just fall in love, then everything else will sort itself out. It is a sobering thought, to accept the reality that marriage isn't a magic trick, a shortcut to wholeness and godliness. It turns the attention away from what falling in love and marrying someone will do for you to what you are bringing to a relationship, to offer and give and sacrifice. Francis Chan said once, paraphrasing of course, that no divorce ever happened because a spouse was serving the other too much, that they were too selfless. The problem with relationships, it seems, is that we are looking to others to be for us something we are lacking, and that instantly puts unfair expectations on them. So, I think the article above did a great job of prescribing an understanding of relationships that will hopefully allow two single people to enter into a relationship on healthy, solid footing and not the selfish sand that plunges marriages into the sea of divorce when two imperfect humans start disappointing each other's unfair and unspoken expectations.