Fire From Heaven

This excerpt from "Forgotten God" by Francis Chan:

We are made to be like Elijah, who did not question whether God would show His face that day. He prayed and asked for help, and God sent down fire from heaven in response.

Perhaps you don't need fire from heaven, but peace. Perhaps what you need is wisdom to know which decision to make. Or courage to do the right thing, even though you might lose your job. Or maybe you need love because you feel alone. Or you want people with a similar vision to journey with and support you along the way. Whatever you need, the point is that God is aware of you and your circumstances, and He knows what you really need. He is able to bring theses things, people, and circumstances into your life.

But God is not a coercive God. And though He desires for His children to know peace and love and to have wisdom, I have noticed that often He waits for us to ask.

He desires to do more than 'help out' a bit. He wants to completely transform us. He wants to take a timid heart and set it ablaze with strength and courage, so much so that people know something supernatural has taken place—life change just as miraculous as fire coming down from heaven. He wants to imbue us with His wisdom because He is the 'spirit of wisdom and revelation' (Eph. 1:17; see Isa. 11:2) Even as the Spirit works in us to make us more like Christ, to transform us, He is also patient. This work will not be complete until His kingdom comes in full, though this does not deter Him from working now." (emphasis added by me)

I know these are just Francis Chan's words about what He understands God to be like, but something about the idea that God wants to take my mostly timid heart and set it ablaze with strength and courage... It's easy to assume that God doesn't want the same things I do, or that His desire is less intense than mine... When the reality is that my desires for good, healthy things are weak compared to how strongly God wants the same things for me. And I think that's Chan's point... If I really, deep-down believe that God is good and has my best interest at heart, why don't I ask Him for those things more often? I'm not talking about asking for more stuff—a new car, better job, shorter commute, etc. I'm talking about coming to Him with the scary stuff. Coming to God with my fears and anxiety, asking Him to replace them with courage and peace. Coming to God with my weakness and cowardice, asking for strength and self-control. If I brought the big things, that are real desires for wholeness and a better life, maybe He would be eager to answer those kinds of prayers. Maybe I settle for the things that leave less room for disappointment. I mean, what if I pray for those things, and God doesn't come through and nothing changes? Then what? I think on some level, I don't want to put all those eggs in God's basket, because if God fails... that shatters my reality. That crushes the supporting beams of the whole structure and what would I be left with?

There is something risky about faith. And I wonder, in America especially, if we are so comfortable with our lives and content with adding Jesus into our lives, somewhat like a hobby or a country club membership, that we are afraid to really step out and ask God for the big scary things that will make or break our faith. We are afraid to really trust God with the stuff close to our hearts, so we half-heartedly limp through our Christianity, wishing God was a little more real, but at the same time, not being willing to risk relying on Him to come through for us in a supernatural way that we couldn't explain otherwise. I mean, do we really trust God if we know we have a good chunk of money in our savings account and a solid 401k plan? We can absolutely say we do, and even extol the virtues of what wise stewards we are being with our money, but when push comes to shove—I'm trusting in money, not God. I'm trusting that when calamity strikes and painful situations arise, I have things to fall back on. Sure, I'll pray about it—but not REALLY expecting anything from it. More than likely, I'll consult with friends, rack my brain for the best way to handle the situation and then grit my teeth and make it through. And on the other side of it, I will probably still sigh with slight disappointment, wondering why God wasn't more real to me.

I'm not saying to be stupid and burn your money or "put God to the test" by jumping off buildings or anything like that. I'm simply trying to be honest with the fact that part of why I don't see God's hand more active in my life is because often I simply refuse to cry out to Him in my desperation or need because I'm afraid that He won't answer, and His silence would be utterly devastating. At least when I don't ask, I can fool myself into thinking God is good and dependable, without ever really putting that to the test.

So, although it is ridiculously scary, I think that's the kind of faith God is looking for. He knows we're finite. He knows we can't see Him and it is hard to have faith. But God has given us the scriptures, and the teachings, life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ and the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit of God Himself, as a witness to God's heart—He is good. He can be trusted. And maybe God is waiting for hearts that will believe that and where appropriate, step out and risk trusting in His goodness. Maybe God knows if we aren't really relying on Him, and He gave us the things we deeply desire anyway, we would be deeply confused about where they came from, because we never really mustered the courage to ask Him. I don't know...

All this from a deep longing within me to be less timid, to shake off the fear and trepidation that enslaves me to chase after affirmation and validation from the people around me. The deeply encouraging thought in this is that God wants that too. He wants to free me and transform me into the man He's created me to be. The same is true for those of you reading this.

So, that just leaves me face to face with whether or not I will admit these longings for wholeness to God, crying out to Him in a way that desperately needs Him to be there and come through.