When You Get "Confronted"...

How do you respond?

Have you ever had someone tell you that they felt obligated to confront you about something you had done? They call upon your ties as a fellow Christian. They appeal to the sake of your testimony for Christ. They express concern over possible missed "witnessing opportunities"... I'm sure all these are done with good (I hope), though misguided, intentions...

What is the appropriate response for a Christian who is confronted by another Christian concerned about a behavior the latter believes is wrong?

My initial reaction, because, yes, this just happened to me, is indignation. Something like passion rises up in me and I want to put the person in their place. I want to lambaste them for their judgmental heart, for the hypocritical application of personal holiness and for their incorrect assumptions and interpretations of scripture. I want to quote Jesus to them, with a venomous "Woe to you, Pharisees and teachers of religious law!"

Somehow, I'm checked by love's higher calling, doubting my own motives, wary of my own arrogance, and I opt for not responding right away. Truth may need to be spoken, but the medium is as important as the message.

The issue was that I was in a picture on Facebook with a beer stein in my hand, celebrating someone's birthday in a pub.

So, as a Christ follower, what do I do when I completely disagree with another Christian's interpretation and application of scripture? What is the loving thing to do?

Drinking alcohol is not wrong according to the Bible. To say that it is, is un-biblical and adds to the gospel something that isn't there. That's dangerous ground. Paul had some strong words for those who were doing that to the Galatians, in chapter 3 of that book, and also, in chapter 5, where he said:

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery."

Some people were trying to persuade the new Galatian believers that they needed to adhere to these particular Jewish laws in order to follow Jesus, to be Christians, to be part of the holy group, as it were. Paul vehemently spoke against this anti-grace mindset. He didn't give them license to do whatever they wanted, but admonished them to live by the Spirit of Christ in love, and don't let anyone force them to abide by a particular set of rules to measure spirituality by.

In our present context, we see this a lot. I saw it a lot in the Baptist church I grew up in. Christianity was defined, and still is in some cases, by external behaviors. A good Christian doesn't swear, drink, smoke, dance, listen to rock music, go to bars or clubs, watch R-rated movies, etc. This is actually directly counter-productive and antithetical to the argument against drinking that was used against me, claiming that drinking could "damage my testimony for Christ". Perhaps it damages the testimony of Christ and salvation by grace more when we make up rules that are not scriptural, enforce them without grace or mercy and cause division among believers (something the Bible says God hates)?

Even as I type this, I have to take a step back. I get pretty worked up over things like this. I don't mind so much that someone approached me and confronted me. There's an element of that that is motivated by love and concern, that speaks up when someone is doing something that is perceived to be harmful. That's a good thing. I do mind, however, that the nature of the confrontation is rooted in a completely un-biblical and illogical application of scripture, that simply upholds a particular tradition's rule.

As Christians, we are called to walk with a clear conscience before God and men. If we feel or know something to be wrong, we are responsible not to do it (and vice-versus for things that are right). We are told not to let anyone force us into bondage, instead, to pursue lives of freedom through walking by the Spirit of God. When we see someone blatantly sinning, we are first required to examine our own lives, to gain perspective and acknowledge our own sinfulness, hypocrisy and general disqualification in casting the first stone.

I could go on... I already have! This feels like a long post. I want to be grace-filled, to the hurting and to the arrogant. I want to show love to the guilty and the accusers. That's what I believe being a follower of Jesus Christ means. Jesus himself said, "They will know that you are My disciples by the way that you love each other".

He did not say, "They will know you are My disciples by how many rules you can come up with and faithfully adhere to."

I'm still not sure how to respond to the message I got. Is there value in trying to articulate to that person some of what I've typed here? Is there value in confronting their incorrect interpretation of scripture which has made a law out of something that the Bible in no way prohibits? If yes to either of those, how do I do that gently with love? Is it better to ignore it? Is this a situation of casting pearls before swine, not wasting words or energy on someone who is stuck in their ways? Are we stuck in our ways? Is there always hope for redemption and repentance? Should we always operate out of the faith and hope that people can and do change for the better?

I hope so.

You may have noticed, in reference to drinking, I didn't address the "stumbling block" issue, which needs another post all its own.