A Waste of Perfectly Good Emotion

I was reading David Dark's book, "The Sacredness of Questioning Everything", last night and came across a section that grabbed my attention and wouldn't let me keep reading. I had to put the book down and just ponder what I had read as I fell asleep.

He was quoting something he had read or heard, someone's response after watching a particular movie, that perhaps had Tom Hanks or someone in it. When asked about it, the man responded favorably, that he had liked the movie well enough. But after seeing the man's hesitation or that he clearly had more going on under the surface, he was asked what else was on his mind. He responded, "Seemed like a waste of perfectly good emotion."

That struck me. As Dark went on to discuss the evils of our TV-infatuated society, I started drifting off on a rabbit trail of my own. I started thinking about the emotions I experience when I watch movies or certain shows and started considering that quote...

"A waste of perfectly good emotion."

The inspiration of Biggest Loser, the excitement of Monday Night Football, the persevering love in The Notebook, the warmth of family and love of Love Actually, the justice and compassion in Extreme Home Makeover... so many random emotions. And I started wondering, are these wasted emotions? These shows and movies are not bad in and of themselves. Not at all. They can be beautiful glimpses into what makes us human and what makes life beautiful. But, for instance, even before reading Dark's latest book, I couldn't stand Extreme Home Makeover because I felt manipulated. They got my eyes to tear up and I didn't even know them. I think I resented being taken advantage of emotionally. Part of why that show is so emotional is because it speaks to something deeply human in us. I'm not questioning that at all. What I am questioning is what good is that? What good does it do for me to get a little teary-eyed at the end of a show in the comfort of my living room? I simply change the channel, or shut the TV off and go about whatever is next in my day. Then, it really does feel like a waste of emotion...

Instead of sitting on the couch for an hour, getting a little misty-eyed with compassion for a family that is struggling and gets help, what if I took the time to get to know my real neighbors and found out what their needs were? What if I spent that hour, which would have been spent sitting on my couch watching people I'll never meet or help, helping a real neighbor of mine? What if my tears were because I really helped a friend who was discouraged, or helped a neighbor fix their fence or shovel their driveway? Would I be moved to tears then?

Yes. I would. It's happened. Not to the point of sobbing like a baby. But after a silly situation where I went 5 minutes out of my way to help one of my physical neighbors, I was flooded by an over-whelming sense of emotion. I'm not even sure what it was. Compassion? Gratitude? Or just a deep realization and sensation that we are broken people and something transcendent takes place when we choose to love each other?

Disclaimer: The situation above does not happen regularly. In fact, truth be told, I drove past my neighbor and had to battle my own selfishness until I finally turned around and went back to help. I definitely don't want to paint myself as a saint.

Thinking back on the emotions that came with helping someone, with no thought of getting something in return, I am puzzled why I don't seek out more opportunities to help my neighbors more. There was something freely and alive in me during, but especially afterward, as I drove on my way. I felt changed. And I think that was because those emotions weren't wasted. I interacted with a real human. His needs were met and my heart was expanded.

I don't think we need to throw out our TVs and start picketing outside Comcast's offices. But maybe I need to be more intentional with how I spend my time, to balance my movie-watching with participating in the real-life stories of the people around me.

Think of the millions of people who probably watch Extreme Home Makeover. Think of their combined salaries and time. Think of the neighborhoods that those millions of people inhabit. Think of the neighbors, in adjacent houses who are hurting and could use some help and compassion. And think of how many hours we just sit on our couches, tearing-up that some random family somewhere in the country got a really big house when they were down-and-out, oblivious to the people around us who may even be watching the same show, wishing someone would help them like that...

I hope that's not manipulative or guilt-inducing. That's not my intention. I'm simply wrestling with my own self-centered life and wondering about the ways that I could love my real neighbors more, and in doing so, experience deep emotions that aren't wasted.